It was 4:00 AM last Monday when an idea loomed above my head. It was one of those times where existential crisis was creeping slowly inside me and I was reading too many stuff on the internet and was feeling a bit too jumpy trying to come up with something that I can make myself proud with. I maintain blogs, I write poems, prose, essays and short stories but I don’t have something more concrete to hold. All my works are scattered throughout the internet Universe and my creations are quite murky if I’d be honest. I have friends who now works overseas, got their dream job, created a happy family and so on. And I asked myself, “What am I doing with my life?” What is really my passion in life? That’s still a very difficult thing to answer but I can come up with several versions.
So I started off with these basic questions.
- What is the thing you really enjoy doing?
- What is the thing that you are really good at?
- What is something you can do about it? Something feasible.
And that’s how I decided to self-publish a book. I have friends who are now successful authors with huge publishing houses supporting them but I felt like that path isn’t for me. I wanted to have an authentic take on this. Something that’s purely: me.
And I’m like, this is it. This is the dream, this could be really be something. I could produce a single piece and probably die happy. I am addicted to the idea of producing something entirely by myself. I have been awfully disappointed at how inconsistent I am with my writing. I frequently abandon blogs, I don’t have a writer community to belong to and I am pretty much mediocre. But hey, I believe in myself and I know several people do. I think this is something that will encourage me more to pursue this passion and stick with it, or else the book will be left in my/our imagination.
So I will enlist a few things to get me started with this not-so-little project.
- Read articles and testimonials about self-publishing
- Gather my past works (await for the hellopoetry membership confirmation so I cand stack all of my poems in there first, then create more short stories and write more stuff)
- Brainstorm on the concept itself – what do I want it to be? how do I want it to look like?
- Canvass for suppliers (on printing and other possible materials needed)
- Budget – This is probably the biggest issue self-publishers face and this idea is dreadful but this is something I have to face, if I have to look for sponsors then why not? I’m sure there are several friends out there willing to lend a few bucks *wink*
It’s definitely a lot more complicated that those six steps, but I’m in it for this project. I already told several people but I am doing this for myself. To prove that all my creation could reach and deserve to reach a larger audience. They are not meant to vanish into the thin air after I wrote them and I owe it to myself to memorialize all those things because they meant a lot to me. I want to tell the story of my life without being able to tell exact details or events. I have a really bad memory but at least I got this talent of putting feelings into words; I owe it to myself to make myself proud.
PS. I solemnly swear picking the title would be the hardest part.